Taking your seat before someone offers it

Have you ever walked into a meeting and headed straight for the chairs along the wall, even though there was an open seat at the table? Most women I know have. Many of us have done it so often we don't even notice anymore.

It comes from a rule we picked up early: wait to be invited. Don't assume. Don't push. Good things come to those who are patient and polite. If you do great work, someone will notice and call your name.

The waiting game

The problem is that a lot of workplaces don't work that way. Opportunities often go to the people who ask, who speak up early, who put their name forward before they feel ready. While we're waiting to be invited, someone else is already sitting in the seat.

The waiting shows up everywhere. We wait for our manager to bring up the promotion. We wait for a pause in the conversation that never comes. We wait until we're more experienced, more qualified, more polished before we share our ideas. And every time we wait, the story gets a little stronger.

I don't need an invitation to take the seat that's already mine.

Visibility is part of the work

Taking your seat isn't arrogance. It's information. When you sit at the table, speak in the first ten minutes or say out loud what you want next, you're helping people see what you bring. You can't be considered for what nobody knows you want.

This is also where how you show up matters. Walking in dressed in a way that feels like you, not like an apology, changes how you carry yourself to that chair. Presence isn't about being the loudest person there. It's about being fully present.

Start with one seat

This week, choose one moment to stop waiting. Sit at the table. Share your idea before it's perfect. Tell someone the role or project you want. It may feel uncomfortable, and that's okay. Discomfort is often just what growth feels like from the inside.